I used to think I could change my appearance to fit the mold of what sexy is. I thought my self-worth was directly tied to how I looked and I thought looking sexy was the ultimate goal. I thought I could diet and exercise my way to happiness. Hide my face in a mask of too much make-up. Wear clothes that over accentuated the one sexy attribute I thought I had, my boobs. I wanted a flawless body and flawless skin. 

I thought if I looked sexy that life would somehow be better. That I would be happier and I would be worthy. If I could just be desirable then everything I wanted would magically come my way. I let my self-worth be dictated by a superficial society and an even more superficial ideal of what I needed to have higher self-esteem. 

Enter the age of social media and filters and posts of picture perfect lives and bodies and let’s just say this was all amplified. Constantly comparing how I looked to the pictures I saw while scrolling on my phone. Thinking that could never be me so I must be destined for a lackluster life with not enough “likes”. 

I went from trying too hard to look sexy to basically not trying at all.  Hiding behind a black and gray wardrobe and treating my body like garbage with too much junk food and way too much alcohol. 

I don’t envy young girls growing up in the Instagram world where they are sucked in to following people who make them think that somehow they are less than because of how they look. Stripping away self-esteem and self-worth with every scroll. It makes me sad and frustrated all at the same time.

As I’ve embraced my own definition of sexy I can tell you this… Sexy is an ATTITUDE, not a look. It’s a feeling. And You can’t diet your way to sexy. Sexy comes from the inside. It’s how you carry yourself through your days. 

It’s saying I won’t let the perfect bodies I see on social media affect how I feel about my own. Sure, you may want to lose a little weight to feel sexier but that’s just it, to FEEL sexier, not look sexier. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I can remember how empowered I felt the day I decided to not wear makeup anymore. I still like to wear it from time to time and I don’t diss anyone who wears it everyday. If that’s what gives you your attitude of sexy then by all means, do it up. 

But for me it was this mask. A mask of insecurity that I put on everyday like it was a chore. A mask to show the world that I hadn’t let myself go. That I was put together. A mask to give me flawless skin. A mask that made me worthy of more “likes”. A mask that I HATED wearing.

So I stopped. I had finally reached a point in my life where trying to fit someone else’s mold was no longer important to me. I felt great in my own skin. I had taken control of my health and in the process I had lost the emotional and physical weight I had been carrying around for years. This was the most empowered I felt in my life. I took control of something that for so long consumed me and brought me down. I had a new attitude. An attitude that exudes sexiness. And I didn’t need my daily mask anymore. I was ready to take on the world without it.I knew that I WAS put together and hadn’t let myself go, just the opposite actually, and that came from a feeling inside. 

The biggest tip I can give you to take action on your desire to feel sexy is this. Do a social media inventory. Don’t follow accounts that bring up feelings of insecurity or unworthiness. Social media can drag our self-worth through the mud if we aren’t careful. Follow accounts and people that inspire you to live YOUR life and not those that leave you wishing you had someone else’s. Stop flooding your brain with images of airbrushed bodies so you can focus on your own. 

And ask yourself this, what would my life look like if I discovered my own sexy attitude? If you let go of the notion that your appearance and the number on the scale somehow dictated your worth as a human being, how would your life change? Imagine waking up with power and purpose every single day.

If you want to join a revolution of women who are redefining sexy I welcome you to join my free FB community by clicking right here. Let’s change the way the world defines sexy once and for all. 


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